Journey to Baby-The First Steps

We started trying for a baby over three years ago. Given, we have had two-6 month deployments in that time so we haven't quite been trying for three years. I don't think we realized something was wrong until the end of 2014. We watched as people around us started to get pregnant and we kept saying we were next. We had been trying just as long, if not longer, than all of these people so surely we would be pregnant any time. Months kept passing, and we still weren't pregnant. But we hadn't officially been trying for a consecutive year so we weren't yet considered "infertile". Brandon left on deployment in August of 2015 and we decided that when he got home we were going to go see a doctor.

I made an appointment for the week after Brandon got home from deployment in the Spring of 2016. My doctor recommended we have Brandon get checked out first, because usually if the problem is the man it's easier to fix. So, we got a semen analysis order. Brandon went, and when the results came back abnormal they ordered a second analysis to make sure that the results weren't just a one time thing. He went in for the second time, and the hospital didn't test his sample for the right things. So, he had to go in for a third time. My doctor called me and, sure enough, the results were abnormal. She told me that they consider a semen sample "abnormal" when more than 32% (or around there somewhere) of the little swimmers are abnormal. Over 70% of Brandon's were considered abnormal. She gave us the number for Seattle Reproductive Medicine (SRM) and suggested we head there to figure out what to do next.

I started to do some research on SRM to find out if our insurance would cover treatments there. Because it's Brandon with the problem, my doctor couldn't give him a referral. Without a referral, we would have to pay everything out of pocket. So, Brandon had to go to his doctor to try and get a referral. His doctor told him they couldn't do anything until we had a year of documented trying and infertility, which we already had. Brandon went in and did another semen analysis for his doctor, and the results came back abnormal again. His doctor wanted him to do a second analysis to be sure the results weren't a one-time thing. But as you can imagine, Brandon is kind of done doing semen analyses at this point. So, we had his other results faxed over to his doctor. That was over two weeks ago, and his doctor still hasn't called us back. His doctor also had him tested for a variety of different things, including Klinefelter Syndrome. All of his blood tests came back normal, which is good, but also frustrating because we haven't figured out what's going on.

So now we're stuck, waiting on other people so that we can move forward. The only problem is that Brandon is leaving for deployment fairly soon. I'm not sure that we really have time to do anything before he leaves. When he gets home, we will have less than 3 months before we head to a new duty station. It's frustrating because I don't know if we should keep trying to figure out what's going on while we're here, or if we should just wait until we move and really kick it into high gear.

So right now, it's up in the air, which is more frustrating than not being able to have a baby. Feeling like we can't even move forward for almost a year is so hard. We're considering all sorts of different angles, including adoption and getting a sperm donor. Adoption is something I have always wanted to do, and we will probably do it regardless of whether or not we have our own kids. Using a sperm donor is also a tempting option, considering it is much cheaper than adoption and other infertility treatments. Not to mention I could do it while Brandon is gone, even if it might be a little unconventional.

I never thought it would be this hard to get pregnant. It's something I struggle with every day, and at this point we're willing to try just about anything. If any of you have adopted or used a sperm donor, I would really appreciate your advice and experience!

-Harmonie